2001-08-11 - 2:10 p.m.

oCzechoslovakiao: would you like to join the struggle to reunite Czechoslovakia

SixFtDwarf: ?

SixFtDwarf: ??

oCzechoslovakiao: the czech republic and slovakia are split, and it is in the name of justice that they should be reunited

SixFtDwarf: why

oCzechoslovakiao: they split at the end of the cold war

SixFtDwarf: ok

SixFtDwarf: why

oCzechoslovakiao: why did they split?

SixFtDwarf: sure

oCzechoslovakiao: well, i dont know

oCzechoslovakiao: but i do know that when they split

oCzechoslovakiao: a country called Czechoslovakia

oCzechoslovakiao: disappeared

oCzechoslovakiao: and that is a loss to the entire world

SixFtDwarf: so what

SixFtDwarf: you cant even tell me why they split

SixFtDwarf: you obviously don't care

oCzechoslovakiao: i do care

SixFtDwarf: well tell me why they split

oCzechoslovakiao: ok, its gonna take a while to type it, so hold on

SixFtDwarf: oh... so now you do know?

SixFtDwarf: because when i asked earlier you didn't

oCzechoslovakiao: yea, i just remembered

SixFtDwarf: OOOHHH

SixFtDwarf: thank allah

oCzechoslovakiao: ok, when the austrian hungarian empire collapsed

oCzechoslovakiao: Czechoslovakia was created

SixFtDwarf: why is that

oCzechoslovakiao: then for years and years, tension between the two ethnic majorities, the slovaks and the sudeten germans built

oCzechoslovakiao: the austro hungarian empire collapsed after world war I

oCzechoslovakiao: what the hell, didn't you go to school?

SixFtDwarf: oh ok you've sold me now

SixFtDwarf: sign me up for the battle to reunite afghanistan and turkey

oCzechoslovakiao: No, now i dont want you to join

oCzechoslovakiao: dammit, you've wasted all my time

SixFtDwarf: sorry for the "struggle" i meant to say

SixFtDwarf: aw come on it will be fun

SixFtDwarf: do we get to wage guerrilla warfare?

oCzechoslovakiao: afghanistan and turkey don't even touch each other

oCzechoslovakiao: you would have to include iran in your struggle

SixFtDwarf: hmm well thats cool

SixFtDwarf: we'll steal all their goddamn petroleum

SixFtDwarf: and sell it on the black market

oCzechoslovakiao: what? is it a revolution or a robbery?

SixFtDwarf: wait.. does this involve raping and pillaging?

SixFtDwarf: because i don't think i'm up for the pillaging part

oCzechoslovakiao: but you'd do the raping

SixFtDwarf: but if we get to convert the heathens to the one true religion and [g]od, then I'm all for it

oCzechoslovakiao: seeing as its Iran, I'm sure they already are moslems

SixFtDwarf: yeah so we'd definitely need to either kill them

SixFtDwarf: or convert them to hey-zeus

oCzechoslovakiao: whats hey-zeus

SixFtDwarf: before they are doomed to the fires of purgatory

SixFtDwarf: say it aloud my young friend

SixFtDwarf: Je-sus

SixFtDwarf: say it with me now... JE-SUS

oCzechoslovakiao: oh i get it

SixFtDwarf: now say it along - JESUS WAS A BASTARD SON

oCzechoslovakiao: JESUS WAS A BASTARD SON

SixFtDwarf: good boy

SixFtDwarf: AND HIS MOTHER MARY WAS A TEENAGE SLUT

SixFtDwarf: go one

SixFtDwarf: on*

SixFtDwarf: say it

oCzechoslovakiao: but i thought she was a virgin mother

oCzechoslovakiao: thats why jesus was special

SixFtDwarf: thats what she told the officials

SixFtDwarf: but in reality - she was a scared little whor

SixFtDwarf: whore*

SixFtDwarf: sleeping around

oCzechoslovakiao: but then why would god pick her

SixFtDwarf: she told that to the officials so she wouldn't be killed for infidelity

oCzechoslovakiao: wouldn't he know that she's a whore

oCzechoslovakiao: what officials

SixFtDwarf: and to joseph so he wouldn't bitch slap her

SixFtDwarf: the roman officials

oCzechoslovakiao: how come they never talk of joseph

oCzechoslovakiao: i bet he was a drunk

SixFtDwarf: most likely

oCzechoslovakiao: or he was impotent

SixFtDwarf: thats why he couldn't see his wife's infidelity

oCzechoslovakiao: thats why god had to impregnate mary

SixFtDwarf: no he didn't

SixFtDwarf: it was that bastard caesar

oCzechoslovakiao: caesar, which one?

oCzechoslovakiao: caesar is a title

SixFtDwarf: julius

SixFtDwarf: the orange juice guy

SixFtDwarf: augustus didn't come around until much later

oCzechoslovakiao: o, well he wasn't very alive at the time of jesus

oCzechoslovakiao: i think julius died at least 200 years before

SixFtDwarf: jesus wasn't alive anyway

oCzechoslovakiao: what?

oCzechoslovakiao: as in he was never alive?

SixFtDwarf: no he was stillborn

oCzechoslovakiao: meaning he was dead at birth

SixFtDwarf: correct

oCzechoslovakiao: so then he was never alive?

oCzechoslovakiao: wait, so would that make caesar god, or was jesus not really the son of god

SixFtDwarf: well see the christian coalition right wing conservatives say he was alive

SixFtDwarf: because they say once an ovary is impregnated by a sperm cell it is a life

oCzechoslovakiao: i hate those churchies

SixFtDwarf: so they use that to prove jesus' existance and to front their anti-abortion campaign

SixFtDwarf: but its all a fallacy

oCzechoslovakiao: i see

oCzechoslovakiao: well, thanks for showing me the real truth of religion, but i really must go

SixFtDwarf: but i'm just beginning

SixFtDwarf: good luck with the austrain liberation movement

oCzechoslovakiao: oh, then please continue

oCzechoslovakiao: really, please continue

SixFtDwarf: well you see

SixFtDwarf: buddha was mary's pimp

oCzechoslovakiao: but buddha was almost 2000 years before mary

SixFtDwarf: no no no you see buddha is omnipotent

SixFtDwarf: pantheistic... buddha is everything

SixFtDwarf: so logically, buddha is mary's pimp

oCzechoslovakiao: ok

SixFtDwarf: so this comes into play when shiva, brahma, and vishnu get together for this kegger

oCzechoslovakiao: and siddhartha

SixFtDwarf: gutama

SixFtDwarf: rright-o, see it was his house that the kegger was at and he was out of town at the time

oCzechoslovakiao: where did he go?

SixFtDwarf: he was out looking for enlightenment

oCzechoslovakiao: must not take him long to go anywhere, if he is everything

SixFtDwarf: no at that time he was only gutama

SixFtDwarf: not the buddha yet

oCzechoslovakiao: ok

SixFtDwarf: follow me?

oCzechoslovakiao: yea, but its gautama

SixFtDwarf: right

oCzechoslovakiao: not that it really matters

SixFtDwarf: at this point in time it does

oCzechoslovakiao: ok, well continue

SixFtDwarf: but then he stumbles upon mary, who "shows him true enlightenment" and so he makes her his ho

oCzechoslovakiao: what does she do to show him enlightenment

SixFtDwarf: fellatio

SixFtDwarf: anyways

oCzechoslovakiao: yes, she's his ho, then what?SixFtDwarf: well then he goes back home

oCzechoslovakiao: with her?

SixFtDwarf: and you know... dharma and greg are at his house

SixFtDwarf: right

SixFtDwarf: along with vishnu and brahma and shiva

oCzechoslovakiao: o yes, the sitcom on abc

SixFtDwarf: and of course you know its all craaaaazy

oCzechoslovakiao: because its a kegger

SixFtDwarf: everyone is wastyed, plus jesus is turning the tap water into vodka

oCzechoslovakiao: when did jesus show up?

SixFtDwarf: no one knows

oCzechoslovakiao: o, that sucks

SixFtDwarf: yeah i think he was trying to steal gutama's jewelry and getting everyone drunk

oCzechoslovakiao: i bet if he asked, gautama would have given it

SixFtDwarf: i know thats the sad thing

oCzechoslovakiao: since he has no possessions anyways

SixFtDwarf: so anyway

oCzechoslovakiao: yes, anyways

SixFtDwarf: allah and his homies crash the party

oCzechoslovakiao: yea, he seems like a party crashing guy

SixFtDwarf: yeah

oCzechoslovakiao: did dharma get pissed off

SixFtDwarf: and his homies are all "kill the infidels!!!"

oCzechoslovakiao: do they kill anyone?

SixFtDwarf: they are all screaming "jihad! jihad!!!", and they pull out their gats

oCzechoslovakiao: you take too long, besides i could pull better stuff out of my ass

SixFtDwarf: well you are not the only czechoslovakian-saving individual i am chatting with my dear

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