2001-08-14 - 1:19 a.m.
well I'm putting another entry in here tonight. Man I'm averaging about 2 or 3 a day now. Well I don't really know what to say right now so I'll just tell yall about how I'm feeling at the moment. Right now I am trying to keep back a whole shitload of tears. I kow its kind of pathetic for a 19 year old guy to cry but all I got to say is "FUCK YOU FOR JUDGING ME". with that said, the reason I'm trying to keep these back is because I've been sitting here just thinking about how my life has changed so much in the past two and a half years. Within that time period I have had the greatest moments of my life and the worst moments to match. It's also been awhile since I've been truly happy. I've been telling people for a long ime that everything is ok. When deep inside I am the biggest wreck I have ever been in my entire life. I just don't want anybody to have to worry about me. Mostly cuz I feel I don't deserve the attention. And all that stems from a childhood growing up as the youngest child and having a mother whom worked her ass off to support me and my two brothers. My dad was nowhere to be found and that was great. I mean shit it's alot better not having him there cuz then he couldn't beat the shit out of me anymore. They say that alcoholism and abuse run in the family, well I plan on stopping it with me. Awww shit once again I've lost my train of thought..... fuck I hate it when that shit happens... fuckin A.D.D. thats what I get for being a speed freak early on in high school huh? oh well I'll continue this some other time� older
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last five entries:
- - 2012-06-06
I'm the only one that knows what today is.... - 2007-02-10
- - 2006-12-25
a few months overdue - 2006-09-18
- - 2006-06-15